Kah Key HONEYMOON
by Ima Synner
A Kah Key Club Book
Cover design by Becky McGraw
Genre: Satirical Erotica meant for mature readers only.
Length: Short Story (13k)
Release Date: September 2018
Welcome to Kah Key, an exclusive, adults-only island resort located in the Florida Keys, where adults do adult things and the tongue in their cheeks might not be a tongue.
Shrieka and Ben D. Lotz are newlyweds who’ve been given an all-inclusive two week stay at the infamous Kah Key Resort for their honeymoon. They’re also kinksters and perpetually horny, but when Ben breaks his foot just days before the trip and finds himself restricted by a walking cast, can they have any fun? Dr. Peter Goesinya, the resort’s medic, seems to think that with a little creativity, they can, and will. Especially once he assigns his PA Fabio Lothario as their own personal “nurse” for their stay. These horndogs are about to have their libido put to the ultimate test by some of the best in the business. All they have to do is sit back, relax, survive a freak storm, and dodge an escaped cockatoo. Here’s to honeymooning!
“Hello, and welcome to Kah Key Resort. You must be the Lotzs. How was your flight?” As she spoke, her fingers clicked across an unseen keyboard below the counter. Her eyes darted to her computer every few seconds, but somehow she managed to keep the bulk of her attention on us.
For the next few minutes we made small talk as she processed our information and printed out this and that. When she was ready, she leaned forward, her ample bosom squishing against the counter, to slide our keys, a map of the island, and assorted bits including activities, reservation extensions, and a personal weather report for the length of our stay.
I made note that the next two days showed possible thunderstorms in the forecast, and had decided we’d look into visiting the spa when a loud clap of thunder shook the building.
“Ah, here she is. Mr. and Mrs. Lotz, this is Amanda Lickett, our guest relations coordinator. Any questions you have about activities on the island, she can answer,” explained Ms. Hornee. “Amanda, allow me to introduce Shrieka and Ben.”
A cute brunette stepped up behind us at the counter, and giggled as she extended her hand. “Hi, and welcome to Kah Key! You guys are going to have so much fun. How long do we get you for this visit?”
My husband was quick to reply with, “Two whole weeks. We’re looking forward to it.”
She noticed his leg then, and fell into a pattern of baby talk that almost made me gag. “Oh, my goodness, what’s happened to our wittle Benny?”
Grinning, I bragged, “Oh, honey, there’s not a thing about my Benny that’s little.”
Her eyes went wide and a nervous titter followed when she cut her gaze down to the outline in his shorts. “Oh, my.”
Ben was a show-er and a grower, and he loved praise.
Giggling, Ms. Lickett managed to collect herself and pulled out an activity calendar. With an air of authority, she uncapped a red marker and began circling items on it, and then presented it to us. “I’ve taken the liberty to mark the things which should keep Ben out of deep water.” She winked. “As it’s getting late today, might I suggest you get settled in your room, and then check out the Ding Dong court for some good old exercise before dinner? Guests always say a vigorous round of slapping balls helps shake off the travel cobwebs and get the appetite flowing for their stay.”
About the Author:
The only child of jet-setting parents, Ima Synner grew up in the Swiss Alps under the strict hierarchy of a private institution run by nuns. While the Sisters of the Divine Way forced Ima to keep her feet on the ground, they couldn’t keep her head out of the clouds... or her fingers out of her britches. Ima’s imagination became her best friend, and in the darkest hours of the night, she’d sneak pen to paper to purge her salacious thoughts. At seventeen, the nuns found her stash of lustful literature, and she was turned out into the world.
She hasn’t looked back.
About Kah Key Resort:
Boston Billionaire Jettster C. Ocky searched the globe for the perfect spot to build his exclusive, adults-only resort. After what seemed like years, but was actually twenty minutes or so, he found a small, unnamed island in the Florida Keys only reachable by boat or helicopter, and bought it immediately. His first thought when he saw the aerial image of the island was, It looks like a car. So, he decided to call it Car Key. He handed the entire project over to Kevin & Ed Construction.
“I’m giving you a free hand. I want exclusivity. I want luxury. I want nudity. Make Caa Key wicked ahhsome.”
So, they did. No corner was cut, no detail was too small. Kevin and Ed even hired a trademark lawyer to make sure the brand they were building for Mr. Ocky was unreproducible. Finally, the resort was finished. Jettster flew there immediately. When he stepped out of the helicopter, he saw the sign:
Welcome to Kah Key ®
“Kah Key? Kah Key!” he yelled. “I didn’t say Kah Key, I said Caa Key. Caa. Caa. Like what you paak in Haavaad Yaad. Change it immediately.”
Still not understanding him, Ed and Kevin looked at each other and shrugged.
“We could do that… but it’s now your intellectual property because we had it trademarked,” said Kevin.
“So, no one else can use Kah Key for anything,” said Ed.
Jettster frowned. “Oh. Then Kah Key it is.”
NOTE: To experience more escapades at the Kah Key Resort, check out the other stand-alone novellas in the series! There is no particular order in which they need to be read.
Meet the Kah Key Writers