Friday, February 20, 2015

BLOG TOUR & AUTHOR INTERVIEW: The Penthouse by F. Collyer Reed

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Release Date: February 19 , 2015
Genre: FICTION / Romance / Erotica
ISBN e-book:  978-1-61213-290-7  
Available from: Amazon, Kobo, Barnes and Noble, and TWCS PH

~~SUMMARY~~

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While having dinner one night in an upscale restaurant, three men well beyond middle age are entranced by a strikingly beautiful young woman who walks by on the arm of a man old enough to be her father. Her scent lingers, intoxicating the trio who stop eating and question how a man of their own age manages to enjoy the pleasures of such an enticing young thing. They wonder who he is, and who she is. As their plates of food grow cold, they decide that she’s too classy and wholesome to be anything other than a gold digger. And they decide they want one of their own.
Between them they can create the fa├žade of one incredibly wealthy man. With access to a penthouse with art worth millions and a Rolls Royce, they decide to take turns being Man of the Evening. One will be a butler/cook. Another the chauffeur. The third a lonely, illusive, incredibly wealthy gentleman. They place a personal ad seeking a woman who dreams of the man they have created – and who doesn’t mind if he’s twice her age. A woman who will shop in trendy boutiques and department stores, and let the chauffeur carry her purchases, and in the evening entertain friends around the dining table, served by the butler.
~~EXCERPT~~

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Wayne Grossman woke up at 6:30 a.m. to the sound of silence. He lay in bed for several minutes, wondering if, now that he was retired, perhaps something was wrong with his hearing. Had he gone deaf overnight? Just then a distant siren wailed to confirm that his hearing was not faulty.
He sat on the edge of the bed to contemplate this odd development. Usually his wife was preparing breakfast by now, but there was no breakfast odor, no clatter of dishes in the kitchen.
He became aware of Helen lying on her side, facing him, one arm outside the blanket. It appeared as though she was fast asleep but there was no color in her face, no rise and fall of breathing.
Wayne sat there for some time, wondering what to do. Finally he said, “Helen.” When there was no response, he raised his voice a little. “Helen. Helen.” He bounced a bit on the edge of the bed. “Helen! Helen!”
When Helen still didn’t respond, he grabbed a handful of blanket and pulled. The way her arm was wrapped around the outside of the blanket caused her entire body to move with the blanket in an unnatural fashion. There was no separate movement of limbs. Helen was stiff as a board.
Wayne went into the bathroom. When he reappeared, he was freshly showered, shaved, and dressed in a dark brown suit, a white shirt, and a dark brown tie. He noted that Helen’s position hadn’t changed.
A creature of habit, Wayne went to the front door to find The Los Angeles Times. He tucked it under his arm and stepped out into his Toluca Lake neighborhood. He ate breakfast promptly at 7 each morning but since there was none waiting for him this morning, he went in search of breakfast.

~~INTERVIEW WITH F. COLLYER REED~~

If I gave you an elephant where would you hide it?
I have always wanted an Elephant, I wouldn't hide it but would live in some remote place where the elephant and I could roam freely.

What is your favorite color of socks to wear?
No color preference, just like thick and fluffy.

Do you wear boxers or briefs?
Boxers daily, briefs when biking.

If you were a cookie, which would you be?
Oatmeal raisin.

Name one actor/actress you would love to get naughty with?
Lindsay Lohan, Lindsay Lohan, Lindsay Lohan, Lindsay Lohan.

Do you suffer from sleepwalking?
Not at all, just wake up in strange places and don't have  a clue as to how I got there, what was the question again?

If you were given a chance, would you enter Big Brother?
What is Big Brother.

What is your favorite daily wear attire?
Jeans and T-shirt.

Women or Cars?
Motorcycles.

What is Eskimo ice?
Frozen urine.

Do you like dogs or cats?
Hate the big and little shit machines, have one of each.

If I came to your home and looked inside the refrigerator, what would I find?
I've been looking for a refrigerator for quite some time now.

Tell me how many hats you have in your house?
Hanging like bats on the walls they breed spouting slogans for heavy equipment and meat process plants.

How many pairs of shoes do you own?
No shoes, boots, hiking boots, motorcycle boots, and more motorcycle boots.

What's your bad quality?
My quickness to anger.

If you were a t-shirt, what color would you be? Why?
Black, works with my white hair.

If you were a tree, what would you be?
Fuji apple tree.

What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Clean hands.

If you were a character from 'Weeds,' which one would, you be?
Never saw Weeds.

Do you speak with your dog?
More or less he's a deaf mute, smart boy though, reads lips. Just hard to get his attention and there is no warning growl before he bites.

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Succeeded in failing.

Do you know how to drop an egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
Keep the floor retreating from the egg.

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced as onety-one?
Because it's pronounced eleventy.

Describe yourself; what do you think about yourself and do you think people perceive you in the same way?
I am afraid to even think of how people perceive me.

Which is your most favorite book ever?
Hitler Moves East 1941 to 1943. It chronicles the invasion of the Soviet Union and the horrors of that war. 

Which is the one television character that you simply adore?
Don't watch TV.

What kind of music do you like?
Everything from old Country to Hard Rock to Opera.

Which is your favorite genre of movies? 
Action, keeps me from thinking about anything that 's a Romantic Comedy. 

What do you do when you feel very sad or depressed?
Play my guitar, go for bike ride.

What makes you angry? Are you short-tempered? How do you overcome your anger?
Very short tempered, growing up on the streets it has saved me from harm, in my old age I am finally able to somewhat control my emotions.

Which is the best vacation you've ever had?
Living on the beach in Baja Mexico, spending the winter windsurfing, Mt. Biking  and writing.

If you could have a luncheon with any three people (real or fictitious/from any time period/dead or alive), which three people would you choose and why?
Any three of my dead relatives I never met.

Which is your most cherished childhood memory?
My childhood was a disaster, I stay away from the memories.

What kind of kid were you, naughty or nice?
Disturbed.

If given complete freedom to start afresh, what profession would you choose and why?
Ship's Captain, love the water.

What is your idea of fun?
Bicycles, Motorcycles, Windsurfing / Sailing, playing guitar, time with my wife and her dog when he's not biting me. 

If given a chance to skip work for a day, how would you spend the entire day?
See above.

Which is your favorite time of the day?
Quiet mornings.

Are you a morning person or a night person?
Both.

What is the craziest thing you've ever done?
Other than being out of my body on drugs, Mexico motorcycle road race

What is the funniest prank played on you or played by you?
A friend and I were exploring an abandoned mine in the mountains surrounding Death Valley California. I carefully laid out stone markings as we passed a multitude of shafts leading off from the one we were in to retrace our steps. He, while following me, rearranged the stones. After thinking we were lost and going to die in the mine I heard him choking, I thought he had inhaled gas. He was choking holding back his laughter. Over the years I've returned the favor to the point I doubt he'll even think of pulling another practical joke on me.

If given a choice, which animal would you want to be? Why?
Something that is not hunted or eaten by other animals or had its natural habitat destroyed by humans. Dolphin maybe.

Which is your most favorite place in this earth?
Baja California Mexico.

If you were stranded on a lonely beach, what are the five things that you would want to survive?
Windsurfing gear, lap top, snorkeling gear, guitar and WIFI with flat screen and Netflix. 


~~ABOUT THE AUTHOR~~

freed F. Collyer Reed was born with the help of a doctor who certified the health of prostitutes in a Nevada brothel. Raised by his mother and numerous “aunts,” he remembers times when he awoke at night to see his mother engaged in her trade.
Eventually she married a wealthy miner client and they moved to San Francisco. His stepfather died when he was eight. In less than a decade his mother’s life had transformed from working at a rural Nevada brothel servicing mine owner-operators and ranchers to a life in the wealthy Pacific Heights neighborhood of San Francisco where her son was a reminder of the past as well as a social liability. She sent him to various boarding and military schools, including a British finishing school, a Christian Holy Roller school (his words), Catholic Reform, and state reform school.
In Reed’s words, “I’m lucky to have lived through my youth. Any drug I liked I used in excess, and I liked them all.”
A sober Reed and his artist wife live on a cruising sailboat in the San Francisco Bay Area with her pit bull and a cat. When not writing, he’s an avid motorcyclist and shares his passion for bicycles and sailing with his wife.

~~CONNECT WITH THE AUTHOR~~

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